Good girl, go eat a burger

In a Florida county, McDonald's is reaching out to schoolkids via an unusual medium.

Not everybody is amused.

Update (20 January 2008): Good girl, no burger

Care for thy subjects

This is an e-mailer I received recently:

Pointing out the typo in the Subject line (loose) may seem like nitpicking, but the little typo does throw some light on how little importance advertisers attach to subject lines when they roll out their e-mail campaigns. No prizes for guessing who looses!

Here's another mailer:

A bland subject line (Everything changes with time...) that says the exact opposite of what the mailer says! I have nothing against Businessworld; it's just that they've been sending too many mailers with subject lines gone awry.

All's not bleak though. Take a look at this e-mailer:

A great subject line (Jack Sparrow ab bolega Hindi), has enough clickworthiness, and most importantly, is relevant.

Imagine a supermarket shelf stacked with multiple rows of identical cans. The only difference between the cans is the text they carry on their labels. The cans cannot have any graphic element and have to use the same font size for the text. Now imagine that you are one of those cans and your job is to get into a shopping basket as quickly as possible. The job of an e-mail subject line is as unenviable, if not more!

So what makes a good subject line? I don't think that there can be a definitive answer (like there can be no diktat on what makes a good headline), but here's a thumb rule: a subject line should have enough promise/intrigue/trustworthiness in it for the recipient to open the mail, without being irrelevant.While we are on the subject of interesting subject lines, a caveat is in order. A manic obsession with open rate is more dangerous than bland subject lines. That might encourage misleading subject lines. You may achieve a fantastic open rate, but ruin your believability in the bargain.

Advertisers need to insist on creative attention in writing subject lines. Agencies should make writing interesting subject lines part of the creative process, and not a rushed afterthought.

Even the From line deserves a lot more attention than it gets; more about that in another post.

The ORM Storm

Going by the number of agencies that have sprung up promising to save brands from the wrath of unkind online reviews, there seems to be a large market for reputation repair.

These are homepage grabs of two agencies claiming to offer "Online Reputation Management (ORM)" services:

The similarity between agencies of this kind go beyond their shared love for similar historical quotes. What they promise their clients is quite similar too. Broadly, the ORM pitch follows this pattern:

1. There is a lot of negative publicity for your brand generated by irate consumers, disgruntled employees and suchlike.

2. This negative publicity can cause your brand a lot of harm since business prospects are likely to find these pages when they google your name.

3. "Push down" these negative pages by the weight of positive pages.

Point no. 3 is where it gets tricky and sticky. Where do these positive pages come from? How can these pages push down the baddies? An agency tries to explain this on its website:

"...we have a comprehensive approach to eliminating negative information from Page 1 of the major search engines, including Google, Yahoo!, and MSN. Our approach includes using traditional search engine optimization techniques to promote existing positive listings that already exist. In cases where no other listings exist, our team of content specialists will develop informational postings to blogs, business directories, and social networking sites, or create completely autonomous web sites to which we then optimize for specifically for your situation."

Any brand of repute that suffers from bad blood on the web must take corrective action, but to say that this corrective action should consist of manufacturing fake praises and unleashing them on the web is not just dishonest, but useless and harmful too in the long run.

I can think of two strong reasons why brands should not indulge in praise manufacturing.

One, people would soon call your bluff. No matter how good your wordsmiths are, manufactured praises have a tell-tale trait in them. Your manufactured reputation may get some fame, but when consumers discover that you have been going around town with a disguise singing eulogies to yourself, you have lost your credibility forever.

Two, Google's site ranking algorithm is quite a complex maze of mathematical formulae. It is safe to assume that Google keeps tweaking its search engine to give precedence to sites that are relevant. It's like the cat and mouse game between writers of malicious code and anti-virus peddlers. Devious techniques to "push down" relevant search results may seem to succeed for a while, but the search algorithm will eventually catch up.

So how does one "manage online reputation"? Here are some pointers:

Keep your ears to the ground

Listen in to the online buzz. Know what people are saying about you. Setting up Google alerts is an effective way of keeping abreast of the online buzz about you and competition.

Make sense of the buzz

Listening in is not useful unless you understand which way the wind is blowing. You are in an enviable position if your brand is being discussed favourably online. The best strategy here is to be an unintrusive listener and provide your online fans with all the resources they need (e.g., easily accessible product data on your website). On the other hand, if vitriol is pouring forth freely, you surely need some correctuve action and that should consist of addressing the complaint and getting your official stand across to people.

Use your website effectively

Your official website is the most important mouthpiece you have, make the most of it. Make it easy to include important announcements at short notice without waiting for the entire tech team to go into a coding frenzy. If you can manage it, open up channels of communication with your customers through your website. Ensure that the information on your website is always correct and updated. Your customers, associates and employees should turn to your website every time they are looking for some information about your company, products or services. Include your website address in all your official communication, e-mail signatures and press releases. You may outsource SEO if you want to, but a good web development team and an understanding of building and maintaining a clean, honest site should do the job. If you do hire an SEO egency, make sure they do not indulge in devious techniques. These are likely to do you more harm than good in the long run.

Look within for support

Employees are the best brand custodians, the most trusted brand ambassadors you have. If they are on your side (most of them are, at least when they begin working for you), your brand stands to gain a lot. In their social interactions, employees are often asked various questions about the products and services they represent. Make sure they are equipped to answer questions, especially the difficult ones. If you are facing slander, explain your stand to your employees. Encourage them to participate in online conversations. If your brand is caught in controversy, they are the ones who are going to face tough questions everywhere. Their answers will shape public opinion about your brand to a large extent. Prepare them for the questions. Give them the knowledge, the data and the confidence to represent your brand.

Don't bury your head

If you are facing a lot of flak online and you think it is unjustified, it makes sense to present your argument loud and bold. Use your website to let the world know your stand. Clarify your stand to other influential sites. Most consumer sites that influence public opinion will gladly accept and carry the brand owner's point of view. Does it mean that you must reply to every unkind comment that gets online? Obviously not. That would be too stressful and may snowball into a larger controversy. The trick is to tell the difference between simmering collective discontent and one-off unkind comments. Do not overlook the odd distrunglement though. Say, you find a scathing online review about your brand from a customer who has had a very bad experience. You believe that the complaint is genuine but is extremely rare and unlikely to happen to other customers. Nevertheless, get in touch with the consumer and make it up for her. After you have ensured a reversal of opinion, request the consumer to update her online post. Chance are she'd oblige and you would've turned a negative review into a positive one without any search engine push and shove.

Hire an agency if you think all this can get too overwhelming to do internally, but steer clear of tricks like impersonating customers and generating fake positive reviews. The web might seem like a haven for impersonation, don't give in to the temptation. If too many people are saying bad things about you online, you must be doing something wrong. Direct your energies towards getting the act right rather than spin-doctoring fake reviews. Once you have done that, go out and shout out loud from the rooftops but don't try sneaking in on other people's roofs to make a point. You might get pushed over the edge.

"Google is not God"

"It's a machine, a superb machine that benefits millions, but it's still just a machine. And what it turns up can have remarkably deleterious impact on hardworking people and businesses," says the founder of a firm that claims to "defend you and your family's good name on the Internet."

This story on Forbes.com tells you what some people do to save themselves from this "deleterious impact".

In my next post, I will focus on the Online Reputation Management brouhaha.

Marcom job at Reliance World

Reliance World is looking for a Marcom content professional (based out of its Navi Mumbai headquarters) who can strategise, conceptualise and develop ATL, BTL and online content. People with at least 4 years in Communication Design / Copywriting / Content Development Role (Ad agencies, Media, Web companies, Corporate Communications / Marketing Communications) have a high probability of fitting the bill. If you fit the bill or know somebody who could, mail the CV to me at subir[dot]ghosh[at]relianceada[dot]com, with a cc to subghosh[at]gmail[dot]com.

Thakur gets his revenge

This is probably the most forwarded viral done by Webchutney. Many of you would've seen this, but those of you who haven't, do it now. Keep your speakers on.

I see double

On TV, I do not see the same ad repeating back to back. In a magazine, I do not see the same ad appear twice, side by side. Why then am I forced to watch the same commercial twice over in cinema theatres?

A dark lady turns fair, thanks to copious amounts of a certain white paste. The dark world--that had been hitherto very unfair to her--also turns fair, and the lady suddenly turns into an air-hostess. You heave a sigh of relief that the ordeal is over. For you and for her. And then, she starts all over again.

It's probably got to do with ad slots being sold in large chunks and advertisers being forced to run their short films twice to fill those slots. This might make monetory sense for the theatres, but makes no sense for the advertisers and their brands.

Spare the air-hostess and spare the audience. Just once is enough. Not everybody is James Bond.

The Great Indian Gas Trick!

When the 5-star style hospitals are on a marketing overdrive, why should the quacks be left behind?

And will the overeducated MDs be ever able to cure medicines of their diseases?

[Pic source: email from Abhijit Gupta. Click on the pic for a larger image.]

Personal opinions and corporate blogs

In my last post, I had written about how a corporate blog had ruffled feathers across America.

Something similar has happened in our own backyard.

Anuradha Sengupta of CNN-IBN watched Sivaji--the latest Rajnikanth flick--and lambasted the film on IBNLive's blog. The post drew extremely strong reactions, with some people challenging her to visit Chennai and go back unscathed! (Her blog's comment count is 1528 as I write this and the number's ticking faster than our population.)

That's not at all surprising, going by the amount and extent of fan-frenzy Rajnikanth enjoys. What I want to point to is the fact that people treat corporate blogs as an extension of the corporate's official stand.

Here are just a few quotes (word for word) from the comments:

CNN IBN HAS GONE INSANE...I LOVED THE CHANNEL TILL THIS INCIDENT HAS HAPPENED

IBN should ensure nobody is hurt before posting such reviews

try to be more matured and smart partuiculary when you r carrying a brand behind ur name । (CNN IBN)

I strongly recommend CNN-IBN (was my favorite news channel till i read this article) not to release these kind of articles and loose the viewership and your brand image....

Irrespective of whether a corporate blogger is trying to promote his/her organisation, people are not ready to see the line between the official stand and personal opinion. At least, not just yet. That's some food for thought for corporate bloggers and corporates who run blogs.

Promoting your company through your corporate blog

...may not be as easy as it sounds.

Lauren Turner, an Account Planner with Google, saw business opportunity in a film release, and posted this on the Google Health Advertising Blog.

Then all hell broke loose and strong reactions poured forth like the Bombay monsoons.

Lauren posted a rejoinder about how her opinion need not necessarily be Google's too.

The reaction (somewhat extreme, methinks) to Lauren's post makes one thing clear--netizens see corporate blogs as an extension of the organisation's official communication.

iSigh...

Tomorrow, many men and women will strut about with their iPhones. Today, they wait.

I can neither strut nor queue up. All I can do is rewind to Feb'07 when Apple aired this teaser ad during the Oscars.

Hazaron khwahishen aisi

Mirza Ghalib had made greed seem poetic. Google AdWords introduced us to the wonderful world of contextual advertising on the Internet. Now that we're used to the good stuff, we're greedy for more. That's why we hope Yahoo's new search marketing platform--Panama--breaks some new ground.

If you have anything to do with online advertising, read this review on Panama by Tomio Geron on Red Herring.

Those who find Ghalib's poetry more fascinating than Search Engine Marketing can get the lyrics of the ghazal quoted in the title and its meaning here.

I thought you just loved queuing up

...but the findings of the Queue Frustration Survey have opened my eyes.

agencyfaqs! reports:

...consumers are signaling loud and clear that they are just not in favour of queuing up.

Research, I guess, is the new-age imperative. It adds more push to the argument, especially if one is trying to push a mediocre ad campaign. ("It will be difficult for the CEO to bounce a campaign if it's backed by research.")

What next? Probably we'd need research to tell us that 3 out of 4 people form 75% of the population. Or that bread almost always falls on the buttered side.

Now laugh, because research has shown that those who laugh frequently last 68% longer than those who don't.

Logo, na maaro isey

Logo design has always been a subjective issue. Many lousy logos litter the neons while some good ones never see the light of day.

The recently revealed Olympics 2012 logo, however, has proved one thing--you can design logos with your eyes closed. All you need is some Lego pieces. Arrange a few pieces any way you like and then call a spin doctor who can see great meaning in every piece of trash. S/he will find suckers to dole out the dough. One man's Lego is another man's logo.

Talking about spin-doctoring, Wolff Olins--the agency that designed the logo--had this to offer by way of explanation on its website:

Neither an appendage to London nor the Olympic symbol, it brings the two together in an inclusive way. It is a brand which can be read and understood by people of all ages, around the
world...

...Echoing London's quality of a modern, diverse and vibrant
city, the London 2012 emblem is unconventionally bold, deliberately spirited and unexpectedly dissonant.

The agency has now removed most of the logo-related content from its website.

Amit Varma of India Uncut has his hilarious-as-usual take on the logo here (parental guidance recommended). Seth Godin calls it a jaggy picture. The jaggy picture punched a hole in Olympic Committee's deep pockets and £400,000 fell through. Loose change!

Those of you who're still wondering why the jagged pieces are arranged the way they are, see if you can find 2 0 1 2 in the logo. Go read up some de Bono.

In letter, not in spirit

Among all communication material, advertisements probably receive the maximum creative attention per sq cm. Communication strategies & creative routes are discussed and thrown around, each word in the copy is often debated and the art director's hair grows grayer with each campaign.

Contrast that with the amount of attention that a letter on the company letterhead receives. Many a time, letters are hurriedly typed and sent out without so much as a second look. The truth is these letters play a great role in building/damaging your brand. As a consumer, I know that your adverts are "created" with an objective (although subconsciously I might associate it with spontaneous expression). On the other hand, when I receive a letter, I take it as a personalised expression of your true intent. If an ad and a letter were to say contradictory things, I would believe the letter. If you shouted "I care for you like your mama does" in your ads and then got my name wrong in your letter, I would care two hoots for your advertising.

If an ad is akin to loud self-congratulatory drumbeats, a letter is like a personalised whisper. We do not seem to realise this and end up emitting careless whispers. I once received a letter from ICICI Bank that addressed me as Mr Aggarwal! That the letter was signed by one Smita Aggarwal provided no solace.

Guilty feet have got no rhythm...

Hide & seek with Google

Organisations that seek business from their websites often look at SEO (Search Engine Optimisation) as the panacea for all ills.

Paul Sloan, in this CNNMoney article, points to the simple truth--that to better your Google ranking, you don't have to be a devious geek, you just have to focus on two factors.

Why fine print is not fine

Many of us hate the stereotypical politicians--the kind who make lofty promises just before our fingers are dotted with black ink, and then do a Houdini. But don't we do the same? FREE this with that, we proudly exclaim and when the poor customer is inside the trap, we quickly shut the trapdoor and point to the fine print which says FREE only if you were wearing red pants with yellow socks while you were walking into this trap. "But it works," say some. It sure does, but don't pretend to be a Marketing professional if you're doing this. A Marketing Mercenary is more like it.

I have nothing personal against fine print, but when fine print is used to prop up a weak product or service, the message may echo for a while in its own hollow and may find an audience, but eventually the brand ends up in the trashcan.

For, unlike a democracy, election of brands happens every minute.